Vacancy: Heart for Rent.

Remember the day you realized that santa wasn't real?

That you couldn't, in fact, be 'Batman' when you grew up?

Remember the day it hit you that your parents are just regular people laden with mortal flaws and vulnerabilities (no different than the other twenty-five billion people of the world?)

Ugh well guys, sorry, today was one of those days.Bare with me, and prepare for a rant. Everyone has a dark side. Even

the people you love (especially the people you love.) Wanna learn a helpful trick? If you ever find yourself confused on whether you really love someone, or wanna find out if someone really loves you... ask yourself: "Does this person KNOW my flaws? If they do, then do they accept them and love you just as you are: even your idiosyncrasies and annoying tendencies? Try it. It works.

Unfortunately, I already tried it and quickly got the answers to my questions…some were kinda obvious, some were quite eye-opening and I didn't want to hear it hah...but I'm glad I understand now.

However, one concept that completely baffles me, (for the most part..there's a few exceptions), I really tend to love and accept everyone just as they are. I mean it just makes sense! How could I not? Even my own mortal face is grotesquely riddled with sin and deformity! Who am I to decide that a person doesn't deserve my love and acceptance?I'm no better then he/she is.

I don't know if it's just a northern thing or what, but these days, I've noticed that most people categorize an act of kindness or generosity as a sign of weakness or manipulation(aka being a "doormat" or doing something cuz it's "a means to an end".) To wear an open heart nowadays is a very brave/dangerous/debatably-stupid thing to do. It's a double-edged sword. Although your compassion for the ones you love is an everlasting power; deeply and irrevocably woven into your essence … so is the gut-wrenching pain of knowing your offered heart is listlessy-tossed aside, it's thirst never quenched; forever doomed to wander through hollow spaces left by empty promises that are now only haunted by the distant echos of a fond memory.....

Forever light and love,

-L

Very Funny

Hey. Obviously, I have way too much time on my hands today; but I thought this needed posting. So I'll Fill you in first. Today JumpThru launched our official website. I'm featured on the "Get To Know Us!" page (joy.) My wildly capable boss wrote my bio (it's actually really funny.)Check it OUT:

Leila Annette Norman

is a hugely inspired intern who has endless enthusiasm and lots of random and incredibly useful information.

A woman who:

*loves running and is a Division1 Varsity Athlete at Columbia University in their nationally ranked Cross Country and Track Team.

*was a political science major but decided she preferred Creative Writing and Philosophy. We think she has an obsession with psychology, social technology and women's rights.

*spent the summer of 2010 in the hills of Oregon as a coach for Nike's youth camp.

*spent previous summers as jury assistant in the Supreme Court in Cobb County in Georgia learning what it means to have a "jury of one's peers".

*won the "Raider Pride Award" not once but twice for "consistent displays of courage, kindness and honesty."

*she is an avid Sci-Fi buff and an expert about Star Trek, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. We call her well- rounded.

Some facts:

> Senior at Columbia University, majoring in Creative Writing with a double concentration in philosophy and poetry.

> Born and raised in Marietta, Georgia.

> Potential captain( and last senior standing) of Columbia’s Division-1 Varsity Cross-Country and Long Distance Track team.

> Founder and writer of a widely popular campus blog.

(P.S. She used my golions freshman pic...can't get better than that hahah)

Poem of the Day: Just ME.

Sup, NLsynergy fans.

Sooo...

I swear I'm not a narcissist; but the Poem of the Day is obviously about me, deal with it, sorry ha.

Love/hate/enjoy/or be annoyed.

but remember....

"It's Friday,Friday, gotta get down on Fridayyyy!"

-L

ME.

I don't care what they think.

I'm sittin' in da back,

( its my favorite seat.)

I run real fast because..

it's just, thrilling.

Ughhh.. WHY does my water keep spilling..

Well, my music is extremely LOUD.

I loathe backstabbers.

I'm terrified of clowns.

I only kiss with passion,

(beneath a webbing of trees.)

I laugh so hard.. I forget to breathe.

My soulmate's eyes are burning , crisp,and tart.

Heck, "Lord of the Rings" movies?!

Bro, I know them by heart!

I often walk and talk aimlessly,

(with no actual place to go.)

And I drive in the summer,

with rolled-down windows.

An unwilling wanderer,

...where is my home?

Yet somehow I've found,

I'm never truly alone.

Try just lying in silence

with someone you love.

Oh, have you noticed the wingbeats of moths

whisper sorta like speckled-doves?

"You day-dream too much,"

people often complain.

But I relish every moment!

My motto?

"Seize the day!"

And even though this is poem is absurdly cliche:

I'm gonna be ME,

and that's... OKAY!

Poem of the Day: "EXPOSED"

Twisted in mournful veins,

molded from bloody pizza-dough;

fondly-thought fingers,

knead a frazzled-heart in bows.

Insisting to beat, hoping to fly,

lost in opaque echos.

See how my lonely ocean-eyes

speak only faded-grays?

My swirling mists formed dripping clouds,

the day you flew away.

My adrenal-summer sun,

married winter's moonlit glow.

Joined for two, revolving-dances:

sloshing smiles, sand, and footprint-riddled snows.

But, my Darling!

Even diamonds can be tarnished

at the touch of it's lover.

As such..you stripped me of my armor;

(my heart's protective cover.)

Two hazel vortexes,

your spiral eyes,

ember-yawning,

(and willowy with drunken-need,)

....gurgle in my blood.

Your love, muddled by your greed.

"Baby, come back!"

I lost you then.

I knew.

My heart's a gutsy racer,

...but it couldn't catch up to you.

Gasping breath flees my body;

it's anxious and congested,

pregnant with my fears,

its perfect-nature: molested.

Panting,

shadows sway,

haunting a lonely door.

His room of moist memories!

(those squirming lights on the floor!)

Silhouettes intertwine

magnetically dancing in a swoon.

They whisper tiny secrets

that glide shyly toward the moon.

We're soul-mates, you see?

( Far from"star-crossed" lovers!)

Our bond is undeniable,

but his cumbersome passions

are smothered.

Too soon,

the sun rises.

(and he fumbles with his clothes;)

concealing the emotions,

he accidentally...

EXPOSED.

Verified Violence.

Once again N lives up to her infamous "verbose" postage...haha some things never change. Anyway,while N has been grinding her nose on the running train, I'm still out of commission; leaving me extremely hyper due to a severe lack of an outlet for my underlying aggression. Yes, aggression. I was unaware, but apparently...I'm aggressive. I've been talking to this guy, (I'm gonna call him "Stitch" because he still thinks my name is "Lilo"...typical), anyway, I we were having a conversation about our likes/dislikes via text. Stitch happened to ask, "What's the craziest or meanest thing you've done?". Ummm, well first of all, I've done way too many crazy things to count..so I texted back, "Umm, define 'crazy' please?And as far as "mean" things I've done....I once told my little sister that the purple jalapenos on our friends' jalapeno plant were grape-flavored. She ate two. I got in huge trouble." Two minutes later, he replied:"Hahahaha whoaaa that's hilarious! Hmmm just tell me something you've done that's absurd or something idk ha." Putting my phone down, I thought about it as I began contemplatively chewing on a slice of orange. Not more than a minute later, my fingers began furiously typing a response, ( unconsciously snickering-silently under my breath (totally un-necessary: I was completely alone.)But anyways: SEND. I said: "Well, I guess the most recent thing happened the other night.." Buzz buzzzz BUUZZZZZZ. Immeaditely, I flipped open my phone, allowing my eyes to race along the screen. "Details please!" he said. Once again overcome with an unheard giggle-fit, the finger-whirring commenced. I said: " Well, every year it's tradition for the seniors on our team to go out "hard" the night of graduation. I had had a bad feeling about going, but my best friend from Texas convinced me to go. Long story short: I tried to beat-up every single male senior on my team and would've done serious damage too, if my friend hadn't intervened haha." SEND. It was a long time before my phone buzzed again. I kind of expected this ha. (I usually scare off guys pretty quickly due to my "intense personality quirks" ha) so I was beginning to think I had just scared him off or something. Fortunately, I didn't. Buzzz buzzz BUZZZZZZ. Open. "This confirms my suspicions." I stared out the window, slightly perplexed. I wrote: "What's that supposed to mean?"SEND.Buzzz buzzzz BUZZZZZZ. OPEN. "I knew you were secretly competitive, violent and aggressive hahaha" Scowling, I replied, "What?!" SEND. New thought. I commence sending another response saying: "I've never done anything even hinting at aggressive around you! What made you think that?!~" BUZZZZZ. "You're eyes are intimidating. Plus, it's always the quiet weird ones you have to watch out for haha." Great. So yeah, I unconsciously send people violent vibes.. ugh just what I need. I promise I'm not an intentionally violent person, though I won't deny I have a competitive streak (go figure).

So.... at this point, you're probably wondering: "What the hell was the point of that story?!" Well my friends, I really don't know...but I thought it was worth sharing in any case ha.

Any-who, I'm currently officially a work-a-holic. YAY. I'm at work all day everyday; and when I'm not, I'm writing and/or cross training and/or in CLASS. With that said, I'm completely and utterly alone pretty much all day, (which means I'm living in my head), so please excuse any ranty/confusing/whoa-she's-on-drugs posts. I'm starving for socialization. Stitch might be visiting this weekend, (but it's really unclear at this point.)

On that note, I'd like to introduce a new addition to "V-Blog": The Poem of the Day. I'm officially establishing this addition to the blog (on account of I'm-taking-an-absurd-amount-of-poetry classes this summer)... in which I'm expected and strongly encouraged to regurgitate multiple pieces of (debatably crappy) poetry a day. Sooo.... might as well share them, right? Haha keep in mind some of them are a little on the "darker side", but some are kinda funny(I guess)...but I'll let you be the judge of that, ha.

Much Love & Cheers.

- L

A Worthy Venue

What's up followers?? By followers, I am referring to the large number of you who I know check V-blog religiously and, upon finding that we still haven't updated, resort to reading and re-reading old posts to take the edge off your overwhelming desire for fascinating new insights into the world of N and L...PSYCH. While I know that there are a few of you who sense in V-blog an opportunity to better understand women through the raw stream of consciousness of a mouthy duo (this is the only time I will ever address you but I know you're out there!), my salutation is more of a hopeless yell into quiet woods, where our most faithful followers have understandably abandoned us, assuming V-blog is dead and that L and I will not post again. But like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, just because the front doors closed for a year does not mean that they will not reopen, and when they do (a.k.a.-NOW, summer 2011), you can bet round 2 will be even more robust than the first. We've been on our grind just like oompa loompas for the past 9 months and now it's time to get back after it on the adventure front. Without further flowery introductions, here comes my update # 1...Bloomington Indiana.

My track season is still ongoing, at least for two more days, as I am here to race the 10k in the NCAA East Regional Championships. I, along with half of the competing squad, arrived in the corn state early this afternoon and damn does it feel good to get out of New York!! I honestly was not looking forward to traveling to Indiana at all (West Regionals are in Eugene, so you know we got the sucky end of that deal!). But, to my pleasant surprise, I have noticed my mood rising ever since we got here. The weather is awesome, not only for aesthetics but also for practicality. I understand now why old people move to Florida and Palm Springs because this heat has worked wonders for my old-woman-like hips (tight, sore, out of balance...they've been giving me hell all winter and spring, but not today!). I also got to run on more grass than I have seen since I was home, reminding me that fields are meant to be run on and experienced, rather than marked with a foreboding red flag that means "look but don't touch or the portly campus security guards will come get you." We found a delicious AND affordable restaurant, made even more affordable by an unsuspecting corner of cardboard in my sauteed spinach, which I honestly didn't mind at all but on account of which my waitress apologized profusely and comped my meal. (#winning!)

In the picture above you will find the most disturbing detail of the trip thus far--a mutilated American flag, flapping at full mast just two blocks from our hotel. Now, I am not an expert on patriotic etiquette, but I'm pretty sure flags are different from your favorite pair of jeans...in other words, destroyed is not the new trendy. I'm not sure how well you can see it from the pixely snapshot via my second rate smartphone, but that star-spangled banner is ripped all the way to the stars. I'm not sure how to interpret it because I have only just arrived, but I will be here for 6 days, so I will report back on any more anti-USA omens or possible explanations.

I should probably get to bed as Jackie will be returning soon and we have two choices for place of slumber this evening--a queen sized normal bed or a miniature pull-out that can't be much more than 4 1/2 feet long. The bed situation has cause such a debacle that the coaches purchased extra hotel rooms this afternoon. Some sprinters were given rooms of their own in this hotel but Jackie and I will be switching hotels tomorrow. Tonight however, one person has to take the doll-bed and perhaps if I am already asleep by the time she gets back from watching Biggest Loser, that awkward decision will have made itself.

Welcome back summer and welcome back to the world of V.

Vicarious Bins and Buildings

So...I have no clue what happened, but the first post I put online for the summer...mysteriously disappeared. I'm currently running a thorough investigation to solve this anomaly (although it's probably all for the best...considering the entire post was written under a heavy influence of Nyquil ha.) Anyway...hmmm where to begin...Well, first off N and I are going to be separated this summer, but no worries, even though N isn't known for her natural-prowess in long-distance relationships; (ha)I'm confident our relationship will strengthen and grow in palpable/ magnetic/intangible ways haha.

So, what is happening Summer 2011 anyway? Well, besides having hilarious catastrophes involving moving bins flying down Amsterdam, combined with continual banishments from campus facilities (on account of CUID's being wrongfully deactivated); I managed to get a SICK job in the city this summer, ( on Park-Freaking-Avenue...where I'm provided with a 30 inch Mac HD computer..baller.) Ironically, I have the V-Blog to thank for the promotion (and surprising success) of my climb up the "corporate ladder." I'm working for this brand-new company called "JumpThru"..it's a promotional/ marketing/media-type of business, targeted towards the start-up entrepenuers of New York City (ummm..who just happen to be millionaires btw). Any-who, right now, I'm in the process of planning an event, designing their websites and updating Facebook/blog/ and Twitter entries (while simultaneously editing a movie: complete with soundtrack, subtitles and special effects)...basically, I'm working in heaven and getting PAID for it.(Money in the BANKKKKKK!!!) Honestly, what kind of job requires that you be on Facebook??!! Meanwhile, N is grinding.( Nothin' new there ha), yet again in the gorgeous state of , "God's-Country"(aka Portland, Oregon.) I'm MAD jealous. I'm sure she'll keep us updated on her adventures (relatively soon), don't worry! On a more sour note, I'm currently dealing with my THIRD F*%king INJURY this year. S*&T on my FACE...UGHHHH; but what does't kill you only makes you stronger... right?! Well, while it's true that I haven't died..I don't know what's worse: DEATH...or a world without running!!!!!! haha Just kidding. Promise:) But seriously, I'm fine.Just coping with the "Annoying-As-Snot Cross-Training Wagon." ( Involving the "30-Day Challenge" sponsored by Harlem's Bikram Yoga studio and a ridiculously BADASS cycling class downtown by union square. The place is called :"Soul-Cycle" (I mean with a name like that, obviously, I'm going). Although the classes are only 45 minutes long, I emerge absolutely dripping in briny sweat.It's a beautiful thing. The classes are INTENSE. I really don't how how to describe the experience in comprehendable terms; but basically, it's like clubbing hard-core...on a flipping stationary bike. There's a D.J., a passionate instructor, topped off with carefully choreographed lighting (that corresponds with the sweet music)...ahhhh it's a sensory overload of hormones, adrenaline and endorphins, blended with a sick soundtrack over-flowing with the latest top 40 club hits, (plus a few oldies, like N'Sync and Spice Girls.) My advice? Check it out online. Go to a class. I PROMISE you won't regret it.

(Oh and P.S. for those of you who know Tansey...he's living in my building for the summer. I'm excited muhahahaha;)

PEACE OUT.

-L